Star Wars Episode II Attack of the Clones - Star Wars Film Project
There are spoilers in this post (in case you haven’t watched this one yet.)
I'll start off by getting the "bad" out there. I guess it's supposed to be interesting to watch Anakin evolve, but it's also still rather boring. His romance with Queen Amidala (Padme) is just bizarre with the dialogue that has been written for these characters. Note to George Lucas: you are NOT a writer! Stay with the special effects and cool stuff and give away the keyboard. He actually did get help writing this movie, but that Anakin/Padme stuff has George all over it. And it just drives me crazy that she prances around in revealing outfits when she is alone with Anakin while telling him nothing can ever happen. No wonder the guy got a little crazy! Oh, and shouldn't Padme have had little red flags going off in her mind when Anakin told her he killed an entire village? She didn't even seem to bat an eye at that.
Now onto some of the fun stuff. We are getting backstory on how storm-troopers came to be. We pick up C-3PO again and see him get to know R2-D2 (who by the way, can actually fly?). If you want some mindless brain fluff, you can even count how many times Padme changes her outfits. LOL! And let's talk about Yoda. He totally kicks butt in this movie. Who knew he could fight like that?!
I'd say that this movie is split right down the middle for me. Half of it is good and half of it just isn't. So I'll go with 5 out of 10 for my rating.
Now on to Alex's review - my favorite part of this whole project!
Episode II: A Lack of the Moans
We start off with a bang, literally due to an assassination attempt on Senator Amidala, and from there, move into a much more action paced film than Episode I. Yes folks, the action of Star Wars is beginning to pick up again!
This is probably the film the series should have started with. In between the bounty hunter action, combat, and action sequences, we get a real feel for the film coming into its own.
That said, there’s still a little awkwardness. Jar-Jar is still here, though given less to do overall. The real awkwardness lies in Anakin, who manages to make things creepy in the romance department.
When one of your romantic speeches boils down to “ANNIE HATE SAND, ANNIE LIKE SOFT, ANNIE WANT WOMAN!” you just know what we’re in for.
Not to mention Senator Amidala, who rebuffs the guy while wearing a variety of revealing outfits? Because that totally stops people from being interested.
The film intensifies with the Separatists being revealed as behind the attempts on Amidala’s life, led by Christopher Lee, playing a role that probably raised eyebrows, that of Count Dooku. (I am not making this name up. I wish I were.)
Also, the Trade Federation is back, and still sounding like horrible Japanese stereotypes. (American! Terr me the rocation of the Crones! I see you suplised I speek engrish so fine.)
The battles and universe are expanded more, and you get the feeling that this film was better made. We’re not at the levels of the original trilogy yet, though. The strange word slips into the script here and there. (Younglings, for crying out loud. Get a grip.)
The Force is Strong with:
- The entire Jango Fett Subplot. Brilliant setup for the future/past.
- Samuel L. Jackson finally gets to fight droids. And he is pulling off the Jedi battles with style.
- Yoda vs. Count Dooku. This is the CGI Team at their finest.
- Anakin’s mom dies, and he slaughters a bunch of desert dwellers in return. The perfect start to the path Anakin will walk.
The Dark Side lurks within:
- Count Dooku is NOT A NAME. It’s something else, like “Mom! Our pet went Dooku on the carpet again!”
- Anakin and Amidala: 0/10 Charisma (But still a better love story than Twilight!)
- Irregular speech patterns on Yoda. Around the survivors, a perimeter create! (ACTUAL LINE)
- Jar-Jar is now a senator, proving that any idiot can be in government.
Words from the Jedi:
People dreamed of seeing the Clone Wars for some time. But dreams aren’t always the best. I had to learn that the hard way. But there is still hope, in those close to us. And through that hope, brighter days lie ahead. – Anakin Skywalker
THIS IS JUST THE BEGINNING! (6/10)
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